b The Longhorn Mafia <$BlogRSDURL$>

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Texas Football: The Ass Whipping-to-Be 

Week Twelve: No. 2 Texas (10-1) vs. Texas A&M (4-7)
Last Game: Texas 35, Kansas 7; Baylor 41, Texas A&M 21
Last Meeting: Texas A&M 38, (#14) Texas 30
All-Time Series: Texas leads 73-36-5

I'd like to start by observing a moment of silence.




The Texas A&M football program appreciates your respect in their hour of mourning. Sadly, the Aggies are no longer relevant on the national football landscape, thanks to Art Briles and his Baylor Bears.

I must admit that it gives me joy to deride this once-mighty* institution. Though I know good people that still proudly embody the spirit of Aggieland - the kind that don't make excuses for Kellen hard's cheap-shot two years ago, and who don't giggle like schoolgirls when they call Texas' QB "Cart McCry" - the pitiful showing their team exhibited at Floyd Casey Stadium very well may have signified permanent relegation to the Big 12 South's cellar. Permanent or not, that's where the Aggies will end the 2008 season. And any team that needs two garbage-time touchdowns to upgrade from an annihilation to a mere blowout against Baylor certainly deserves it.

More than ten years ago Aggie fans saw Texas' return to prominence coincide with their own team's slow descent to mediocrity. The Southwest Conference's small pond dried up and A&M could no longer match up consistently with Texas or Oklahoma, so a bitter rivalry with Texas Tech formed in that void. In the last few years the Red Raiders have clearly emerged as the second-best Big 12 team from the Lone Star State, leaving the yearly "battle of the Brazos" as A&M's only evenly matched foe. And as Briles looks to build his program in Waco with youthful vigor and a network of high school coaching ties that could help him land the recuits his predecessors could not, the Aggies are moving backward with a recycled has-been at the helm.

It's bleak right now in College Station, where consecutive wins over Texas mark the only positives in two years of decline. And come Thursday night, when Mack Brown's team atones for those embarrassing outings, all will be right with the world.

Whoop on that, you bastards.

*"Once-mighty" = "Brief blip of historical significance registered due to rampant cheating"

This Week's Game in a Nutshell

Matt is thankful...

You probably don't care if you're not in our group, but this is my favorite TWTWB of the year.

They Said It...
"When it comes to the current conundrum regarding Texas and Oklahoma -- two teams from the same conference with the same record involved in a three-way tie with another team, Texas Tech, against which they split -- there is no right answer. Period."

CNNSI.Com's Stewart Mandel
Agreed. But I still want to take this opportunity to remind people that Texas beat the Sooners by 10 points on a neutral field, while both Oklahoma and Texas Tech won home night games. Texas also has the most impressive win against non-common opponents (56-31 against then-No. 11 Missouri).
"Texas, you may recall, defeated Oklahoma at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas. It was in all the papers, but unfortunately, the BCS computers can't read."
LA Times sportswriter Chris Dufresne
You don't say. Really?
"Discussion doesn’t help us. ‘What if’ doesn’t help us. Winning and playing well helps us. Everybody who votes will be watching that game. Period. Why talk about it? Why discuss it? All we can do is play well and win and if we don’t, it’s not worth discussing."

Mack Brown
Not bad. It's not quite, "put it in two inch headlines," but it sounds like a respectable preface to a lopsided contest.
"It was a very legal hit. Cart McCoy's a pretty good player, but I'm hoping my brother's going to get some more hits on him."

Dallas Cowboys TE Martellus Bennet, a former Aggie, referring to his brother Michael's hit on Texas QB Colt McCoy two years ago, which knocked McCoy from the game.
Damn, Tellus. I was just starting to like you. Hopefully after Jason Witten takes all of your receptions this Thursday, you'll wallow in self-pity while "Cart" McCoy throws for 300 yards on your alma mater's pathetic excuse for a defense.
"We're going to beat Texas 27-24. We're going to upset Texas. Actually it won't even be an upset. We expect to beat Texas — the yellow bellies — every year."

Martellus Bennet
Delusion, holla!
"If you can’t get excited at home before nearly 100,000 people when there are Big 12 championship and national championship implications on the line against your rival, then you ought to quit and do something else."

Mack Brown
A) We're. Not. Ri-Vals. clap clap, clap-clap-clap.
B) Tryptophan + copious amounts of pregame alcohol = potential drowsiness.
C) Considering the level of effort displayed the past two years, I would hope this sentiment has been directed toward the team as well as the fans this week.

With that said, Mack is absolutely right. Get hype, Horns fans!

In the Huddle with "Sir Rod"

Will return...

(Note: "Sir" Rod Walker played RB for the Horns from 1991-1994. He currently chairs a committee seeking to enshrine John Mackovic in the Longhorn Ring of Honor.)

Stonie's Stone Wall

Will return...

(Note: Stonie Clark played DT for the Horns from 1992-1995. He once left a permanent dent in Sooner RB James Allen's torso with a flying body tackle.)

Betcha Didn't Know

The resident Husker guy at ShaggyBevo.Com provides encouraging news for Texas fans:
Bob Stoops has never won out following a loss

1999 - followed a loss at ND with losses to Texas, Colorado, Tech and Ole Miss (bowl)
2000 - no losses
2001 - followed loss in Lincoln with 16-13 loss to OSU
2002 - followed 30-26 loss to A&M with 38-28 loss to OSU (a game never really that close
2003 - followed CCG loss with LSU Sugar Bowl loss
2004 - no losses till bowl
2005 - followed up opening loss to TCU with losses to UCLA, Texas and Tech
2006 - followed up loss in Eugene with loss to Texas and Boise shocker
2007 - followed loss to CU with losses to Tech and WVU
2008 - ??????

Just pointing that out
Texas doesn't have to play for the BCS Championship for me to enjoy this season. But if Oklahoma overcomes a loss to the Horns and wins the whole thing then I will be very, very disappointed.

The Things I Think About

Everyone seems to be talking about the scenarios this weekend that will send Texas to Kansas City next week for the Big 12 Championship Game (or to Miami for the BCS title game without playing in Kansas City). I'm not thinking about that.

I'm thinking about a cold, gray afternoon near the top of "The Zone" at Kyle Field, with wind gusts chilling me to the bone. I'm thinking about a sloppy performance against an inferior team. And I'm thinking about a miserable two hour drive home after a loss that never should have happened.

The BCS is out of our hands, no matter how much Texas fans politick. Dismantling the Aggies is well within Texas' control. So for right now, I'm thinking that nothing short of annihilation will soothe the bad memories from last year (or the year before).

For the Record

My one BCS-related thought: to reiterate what I have said for the past seven years, a conference championship should not be used as a prerequisite to playing for the BCS title until all conferences play by the same rules. So, if a team not named Texas goes to Kansas City and loses to Mizzou, Texas absolutely deserves to play for the national title.

Personal Anecdote Involving This Week's Opponent

Four years ago my friends and I prepared for the T+1 game by attending the Aggies' midnight Yell Practice. Our favorite heckle that night was: "Lost. To. Bay-Lor. clap clap, clap-clap-clap. It's going to be fun reprising that on Wednesday night.

Semi-Relevant quote from the movie Tombstone
Make no mistake, it's not revenge he's after. It's a reckonin'.
Yes, I have been sitting on this one all year. It's the sole reason I chose Tombstone in the first place. Brian Orakpo is coming for you, Jerod Johnson. And HELL'S COMING WITH HIM!

Deluded/Rational Thoughts from an Opposing Message Board

I cannot, in good conscience, even visit TexAgs.Com this week. I trust that it's ALL deluded.

Ricky Williams Runs to the Hall of Fame!

It was ten years ago this week, and I was 20 yards from him when he scored.


Prediction: MUD. HOLE.



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