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Thursday, August 26, 2004

INsite: The Pregame Tailgate (September 2004) 

(The September INsite hits stands next Friday)

The Pregame Tailgate
by Andrew Fox

Presenting the official TPT 2004 Texas Longhorns game-by-game predictions:

North Texas- On the first play from scrimmage, Vince Young fakes a handoff and sprints eighty yards for a touchdown. Young and Cedric Benson alternate carries the rest of the night in Texas’ 56-3 win. Asked why his team never passed, Mack Brown says that they’re saving page two of the playbook for the Oklahoma game.

@Arkansas- Behind 14-0 at the half, due to three Young interceptions, Brown phones Darrell Royal for advice. “Three things happen when you pass,” Royal says. “Two of them are bad.” Texas runs for 150 yards in the second half alone, but still trails 14-8 in the fourth. On fourth-and-three Young shocks the crowd as he drops back and hurls one deep, where TE David Thomas makes the catch. Young’s keeper three plays later gives Texas a 15-14 win. Penn State’s Joe Paterno, watching on ESPN, scoffs and declares his team better than Texas.

Rice- To honor the ten year anniversary of their last win against Texas, Rice engineering students attempt a bizarre experiment that would recreate the monsoon-like conditions of that 19-17 upset. The wet field proves disastrous, though, for Rice’s option attack. Derrick Johnson scores two defensive touchdowns in the 45-10 Longhorn win.

Baylor- The Bears have scored 24 points in the past five meetings with Texas. The Horns have scored 256. I’ll go easy and say that Texas wins 52-6.

Oklahoma (Dallas)- Frustrated at his team’s inability to waltz through Texas’ secondary for a second straight year, Bob Stoops’s Oklahoma squad grows restless. Neither team has managed much offense through three-plus quarters, but with a 7-3 lead and three minutes to play, Stoops opts to pass on third-and-long from inside his own twenty. Sophomore Garnett Smith busts through the line on a blindside blitz and levels reigning Heisman-winner Jason White. The ball pops loose and into the arms of CB Tarell Brown, who skips into the end zone to give Texas a 10-7 upset! Mack Brown apologizes to all Sooner fans after the game.

Missouri- ESPN Gameday visits Austin to hype the Brad Smith-Vince Young battle. Smith faces the unenviable task, however, of facing a confident Texas defense. Derrick Johnson buries him for four sacks in the 24-10 Texas win, and Benson moves into Heisman contention with his third 200-yard game of the season.

@Texas Tech- The plains of Lubbock are rarely kind to the Horns. But the Texas Tech secondary is often kind to opposing quarterbacks. Young has a career passing day against the undermanned Red Raiders, throwing for 250 yards and three touchdowns. The Texas defense struggles some, but play well enough to give the Horns a 38-28 win.

@Colorado- Buffaloes coach Gary Barnett angers the Longhorns during a halftime performance by the Texas Pom Squad, in which one member severely turns her ankle. As she’s helped off the field, Barnett tells a reporter, “she wasn’t any good anyway.” Texas responds with a 42-7 blowout.

Oklahoma State- Relegated to the spoiler role, the Cowboys hope to pull an upset against the No. 2 Longhorns. They instead serve as a promotional video for the Ced Benson Heisman campaign. Benson picks up 180 yard in the first half, before giving way to Selvin Young, who cruises to 120 himself in the 37-17 win.

@Kansas- Texas wins 48-12 in front of a mostly-empty Memorial Stadium crowd. Meanwhile, the KU basketball team plays to a sold-out Allen Fieldhouse, where the Jayhawks are scrimmaging… themselves.

Texas A&M- The Aggies haven’t won in Austin since 1994, and they won’t again until at least 2006. Vince Young breaks open a close game with third quarter touchdown passes to Limas Sweed, Tony Jeffrey and Brian Carter, and the Horns drop A&M to 5-6 on the season with a 43-17 win.

Nebraska (Big XII Championship)- Four first half turnovers dig the Horns a 36-10 hole. Then Brown inserts Chance Mock to revive the Longhorns’ offense. His first pass goes 80 yards to Limas Sweed and the Horns have life. Two field goals pull them within 36-23, before an ill-advised Nebraska fake punt ends up as a Michael Huff touchdown. Texas forces another punt late in the game, and Phillip Geiggar bursts through the line and right at the punter. He hangs in the air for what seems like five minutes, before smothering the ball as it leaves the punter’s foot. Texas recovers and Cedric Benson punctuates his Heisman Trophy-winning season with a three-yard touchdown, giving Mack Brown his first conference title. Texas wins, 37-36!

Georgia (Fed Ex Orange Bowl)- Texas moves the ball well, but red zone difficulties force five field goal attempts. Dusty Mangum hits on three of them and the Horns cling to a 9-3 lead in the final quarter. The Texas secondary, which limits Heisman runner-up David Greene to 124 yards through the air, stops Georgia on third down with about five minutes to play, and the Bulldogs choose to punt. Convinced that a fake is coming, Mack Brown leaves his defense on the field. Georgia kicks away, though, and safety Michael Griffin sprints to try and field the ball. From out of nowhere, former Longhorn Craig Curry runs onto the field and blasts Griffin before he touches the punt. Curry is arrested for trespassing, but the Longhorn offense takes over and runs out the clock. Texas wins its first national title in thirty-five years.

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