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Thursday, November 04, 2004

INsite: The Pregame Tailgate (November 2004) 

(the November INsite is on stands now)

The Pregame Tailgate
By Andrew Fox

Well the Horns couldn’t solve the OU puzzle for the fifth straight year, even though they kept it close and had their chances. And the Astros got to the brink of the World Series before destiny decided it had better things to do. Yes, TPT fans, it’s been a rough month for me. As the great Chief Joseph once said, “my heart is sick and sad.”

I need a break from predictions and analysis and all the other great things that I strive for here each month, yet seem to fail in, miserably. It seems like a perfect month to dip into the “TPT Mailbox.”

D. Jones has a few inquiries: “What type of chance do you see for the Astros next year being that it is looking like they will lose two of their biggest players in Clements and Beltran? I don't think that it is any secret that Beltran is now going to be making "A-Rod". Should there be some kind of salary cap in MLB like there is in NFL? Who is the richest son of a b---- in Houston? Whoever they are they should step up and donate $10-20M to keep him.”

I think they’ll be fine, because I expect Clemens to return. I’d like to see Carlos back, but it’s unlikely, I admit. As far as a salary cap is concerned, an NBA-like soft cap isn’t bad, but I can’t think of anything else I despise in sports like the NFL’s hard cap. I don’t know about H-town’s richest guy. Maybe Mattress Mac?

Oh, DJ also wants to know, “How will married life affect Mr. Tiger Woods?”

Man, so much innuendo, so little time. Let’s just say that if I had Elin Nordgren on my arm, the, ahem, shaft on my driver would take a backseat.

Matt from Dallas checks in with an 80’s movie question: “Could Teen Wolf have been better than Michael Jordan?”

Great question. He might not have, but I can say with 100% certainty that Portland drafting Teen Wolf ahead of MJ wouldn’t have been nearly as egregious of an error as taking Sam Bowie in that spot. Looking back, Jordan and the Wolf could have been the 90’s version of Magic v. Larry.

Brooms sends in, not a question, but a suggestion. “In honor of your trip to Denver you could do a piece on ‘The whitest towns in America’. Denver is like a year round Peter, Paul and Mary concert. I have never seen so many pasty but otherwise non-descript people in my life”

So Denver is like England without the goofy accents? If Denver is bad, Boulder is even worse. Plus, they hate Texans there. I intend to represent with my Longhorn cap and a CD wallet full of rap music.

Jonathan in Round Rock asks, “Will Greg Davis be back? If not, who would be the leading candidates for his job?”

If Texas wins out, then I don’t see any major changes taking place, much to the chagrin of every Texas fan that watched our vanilla game plan produce no points against OU. If they don’t, and the offense costs us a win the way it did in last season’s Holiday Bowl, then I wouldn’t be surprised. Boise State’s Chris Peterson is a name that gets thrown around quite a bit. Mack made a great choice with Greg Robinson last offseason, though, so perhaps he’d raid the NFL.

Robbi, from the battleground state of Colorado, wonders, “At what time/day are we going to know who won the presidential election?”

Both sides are preparing for extensive litigation, so it could take well into November or December to decide this election. But I’m going to go the traditional route and say: this election will be over when Sen. Kerry calls President Bush to concede on election night around eleven o’clock, CST. Bush takes the Electoral College, 310-228. If you have Michael Moore in your death pool, then I also predict that is the time/day that he kicks the bucket, after choking on his pig sandwich.

J.G. asks, “In seeing how St Louis just folded in a very anti-climatic series do you think the Stros with Clements, Oswalt, and Backe could have kept the curse alive in Boston?”

I think Houston’s better starting pitcher would have gotten the World Series to at least Game Five. The thing is this; you can never tell what might happen in that setting. St. Louis looked like they just ran out of gas after the two tough losses in Beantown. Would Houston have done the same? I don’t think so. They had already faced a similar situation, and I think they would have been better-suited to erase a 2-0 deficit, especially with Clemens and Oswalt taking the hill in Houston.


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