b The Longhorn Mafia <$BlogRSDURL$>

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Texas Football: The UTEP Game 

Week Three: No. 10 UT-Austin (1-0) vs. UT-El Paso (0-1)
Last Week: UT-Austin 52, Florida Atlantic 10; Buffalo 42, UT-El Paso 17
Last Meeting: Texas 22, College of Mines 6 (1933)
All-Time Series: Texas leads 2-0

I could say a lot about this game.

Actually, no I couldn't. As I'm currently sitting in a sports bar at the Raleigh, NC, airport (where college football mania is not nearly as prevalent as it is in Austin), I don't have time to come up with a witty theme.

It doesn't matter. This week's UT-Austin-UT-El Paso game (for some reason Miner fans like to refer to The University as UT-Austin [see: here], as if there were any confusion as to which university/program/team truly represents the state's name) is more of a glorified scrimmage than last week's contest with Florida Atlantic, save for the fact that : (a) this exhibition takes place on the road, and on national TV, and (b) Mike Price's alcohol issues only led to his own downfall, as opposed to derailing a team's entire season, as has been the charge with Howard Schnellenburger's Oklahoma tenure (which again, lasted one season).

Anyway, I had a few good bits to use for this week's theme, but then I read matt's column (see below) and realized that bastard already used all of it.

This Week's Game in a Nutshell

Texas wins. Mike Price gets drunk. I do, too.

Matt was apparently in my mind this week when developing The Week that Will Be

But in all honestly, he probably put it down on paper is a much less contrived manner.

And I still love this section:
Facebook Status Messages

Bill Byrne commented on Kyle Field’s Wall:

“I was really impressed with the cleanliness of stadium. We work extremely hard in the off-season to power wash and clean Kyle Field, but we still have bat and bird residue reappear no matter how close to game-time we clean. I wish we could find a way to discourage the presence of these creatures, but the bats are a protected mammal in Texas.” Add comment asking Bill what about the pieces of shit on the field!

Stephen McGee and Chris Simms are now friends!

Brandon Collins is wondering how the f*ck some people in the financial aid office receive a paycheck.

Frank Alexander has thrown a knife at you! Throw a knife at Frank Alexander in a Norman bar!

Mike Price is wondering why we scheduled the Buffalo Bills. Wat.

Tatum Bell is now a fan of Gucci Luggage!

Steve Spurrier and Todd Beecher are no longer friends.

Tommy Bowden joined the Looking For D-1 Job group.

The nation is hoping that Chris Wells misses a few weeks so Ohio State will drop a couple of games.

Hurricane Gustav is up in your stadiums, canceling your games.

Georgia and The Coaches Poll are no longer in a relationship.

Phil Fulmer is F MONOPOLY.

Will Muschamp joined the group We Don’t Need No Stinking Band-Aids.

They Said It...
"I think they should be tougher, honestly, one of the other biggest games, like when Texas Tech comes, it's even more packed than the other games, and the crowd is even worse."

-Rachel Serrano, UTEP fan, regarding the tailgate policies school officials have put in place (see: Tailgate Talk, below).
Rachel is also using Facebook to organize an effort that limits standing during game action, and also keeps all vocal support of the Miners to less than 75 decibels.
"I'm hoping for a good game. Hoping." -

-Luke Whitrock
, UTEP student, regarding the Miner's chances.
Luke shouldn't get his hopes up for a strong afternoon of tailgating, if laura gets her way.
"The crowd is going to be a major factor in this game. It will be a definite positive for us. It will be so loud that [Texas quarterback] Colt McCoy won't be able to check off at the line of scrimmage. They won't be able to hear him. He probably hasn't experienced this too many times. They've played before loud crowds, but not loud and wild crowds."
-UTEP coach Mike Price
I was in Lincoln on a cold morning in 2006 while Price was evidently sleeping off his mescal hangover (with or without a Juarez whore at his side). It was loud. It was wild. It was the epitome of major college football. I'm not sure what this sonofabitch knows anything about loud or wild, outside of the context of the local donkey show, but it didn't stop him from making himself look like an ass.

In the Huddle with "Sir Rod"

(Note: "Sir" Rod Walker played RB for the Horns from 1991-1994. He currently chairs a committee seeking to enshrine John Mackovic in the Longhorn Ring of Honor.)

Coming soon...

Stonie's Stone Wall

Coming soon...

(Note: Stonie Clark played DT for the Horns from 1992-1995. He once left a permanent dent in Sooner RB James Allen's torso with a flying body tackle.)

Betcha Didn't Know

El Paso is almost exactly half as far from Austin as is Las Vegas. So… the few Texas fans that don’t blow their celebratory (money) wad on hookers and mescal in Juarez should perhaps entertain the idea of heading west on Sunday instead of east. Southwest has plenty of non-stop flights from Sin City back to Austin on Monday. Pay your fare with your blackjack winnings.

The Things I think About

After reading The Week That Will Be, all I can think about is that damn Marty Robbins song.

A few other College Football-related Thoughts

  • Good: USC

  • Not-so-good: the ACC

  • More tiresome topic: Beanie Wells’ foot or Shawne Merriman’s knee?

  • From the “Am I the only one who finds it interesting?” department: Georgia has now dropped in the polls after two of their last three victories.

  • If the AP Poll consisted of only my girlfriend, Georgia would be ranked No. 1 every week. She loves bulldogs.

  • Remember that time Arkansas State beat Texas A&M?

  • College Station: Where men are men and the Baylor football team doesn’t feel inferior.

  • Personal Anecdote Involving This Week's Opponent

    I'll admit that I know almost nothing about the Miners, short of what I saw in the 45 minutes of Glory Road (before I turned it off; I has already seen Remember the Titans, and I liked Denzel a lot more than Josh Lucas). But I do remember listening to a Longhorns postgame show, circa November 1994, and a caller, when trying to determine whether or not Texas should accept an invitation to the Alamo or Sun Bowl, inquired as to which destination had the better Mexican food.

    Two things today stand out to me about that:

    (1) I would guess that El Paso leans more toward interior Mexican, while I much prefer Tex-Mex.

    (2) Could any Texas fan today imagine debating which of these bowls was more desirable?

    Semi-Relevant quote from the movie Tombstone

    “Come on boys. We don't want any trouble in here. Not in any language.” That reminds me of a very non-PC joke…

    Non-PC Joke of the Week

    Q: What do you call a Mexican quarterback? A: El Paso.

    Deluded/Rational Thoughts from an Opposing Message Board

    What else would you expect from a post titled: “Call me Crazy”?
    We are a long shot to win this game, I realize that. But if you don't have faith, what do you have? I don't think it will be the blowout that everyone is expecting.

    I believe! I have faith! That is why we play the game. Go to the game, be loud and proud of your school.
    Go to the game? Yes. Be loud? Please. Be Proud? Again, yes.

    But be rational. Not Crazy.

    Random movie clip that illustrates a massacre just slightly less extreme than what will take place in the Sub Bowl Saturday night

    Prediction: I visit Chuy's at some point this weekend for celebratory Tex-Mex



    This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?