b The Longhorn Mafia <$BlogRSDURL$>

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Texas Football: The Oklahoma State Game 

Week Ten: No. 4 Texas (8-1) vs. Oklahoma State (5-3)
Last Week: Texas 35, Texas Tech 31; Oklahoma State 41, Nebraska 29
Last Meeting: 2005 -- Texas 47, Oklahoma State 28
All-Time Series: Texas leads 18-2

Whew... I'll be the first to admit Texas was lucky to escape Stilwater with a win last season. No, I'm kidding. We were much better and once we remembered we were a Top 10 team we kicked their ass. Ok State is a weird team. They seem to play either Texas or OU close every season, but oddly enough OU is the only one they've actually beaten (twice!). Take that for what it's worth.

Matt's TWTWB revisits a yearly theme, which I think you'll like (if you like football).

Well it’s that time of the year again, where teams fight for bowl position, bitch at each other and fans start to make travel arrangements to far locales. Well if it’s that time, it means it’s time for What HornMafia Thinks This Season’s Bowl Matchups Will Look Like.

The Nobody Wants You Here Bowl-- This bowl matches up Boise State and the winner of West Virginia/Louisville, because no matter who plays these teams in a BCS bowl, there is bound to be some disappointment. So just send them to a city that gets no respect, like Milwaukee, and let them battle it out for the right to bitch.

The Bourbon in a Starbucks Cup Bowl—This bowl matches Mike Leach against Big XII refs. Leach felt that Texas got a lot of favorable calls in its October 28th match-up and even sent a tape to the league office. I trust he also sent a copy of the cheap shot that Tech receiver Danny Amendola put on Michael Griffin after a punt return, the numerous favorable spots Tech received in the ballgame and of course the video of Taurean Henderson not scoring against Oklahoma last season.

The Posturepedic Bowl—This bowl matches up Joe Paterno and retirement. JoePa nixed a planned night game with Wisconsin this week because “we [have] to come home and play [Temple] next week.” Yes, JoePa, I realize that an extra 4 hours of preparation is needed for Temple, now that they’ve ended that 20 game losing streak and are en fuego. Give it up, and take Bobby Bowden with you.

The Um, That Job Isn’t That Great Anyhow Bowl—This bowl features North Carolina and it’s job vacancy. An internet report this week said that Butch Davis is waiting to see what happens with the Alabama job before he commits to any open jobs. It went on to say, “Davis had better not wait too long, the North Carolina job won’t be open forever.” Umm…Remember that look that Beavis and Butthead used to give the teacher when they had no idea what she was talking about? Yeah, enter that here.

The Stupid Computers Bowl—Look, I’m not as pissed off at the BCS process as I have been in the past, probably because it worked for Texas last year, but this bowl matches up the lame-ass computers that have three loss Washington State ahead of Texas in it versus the computer from Lost that blew up and led the death of Mr. Eko. F both of you up your stupid floppy disk drives.

The Lame Duck Coach Bowl—North Carolina v. Michigan State. What exactly is the purpose of having a coach finish out the year? Because if I’m that coach I’m yelling my plays across the field, opening up my practices to anybody and everybody with a video camera, giving pre-game speeches that tell guys they suck, pissing in the middle of the locker room at the end of my last home game and then giving the finger to the camera as the clock is running down. But maybe that’s just me. Better decide on that North Carolina job, Davis!

The Nepotism Bowl—Florida State’s Jeff Bowden v. Junior Justice from Smokey and the Bandit. Both are incredibly inept but at least Junior held the Sheriff’s hat on his head. Jeff can’t even field an offense that’s ranked higher than 90th in rushing with the best athletes in the world at his disposal. Terry had an undefeated season at Auburn, Tommy will likely be in a New Year’s Day bowl this year…poor Jeff might have to sit at the kid’s table at Thanksgiving. And then find a way to score on Florida two days later. Good luck with that. Maybe you could hold daddy’s sunglasses on.

The Stupid Aggie Traditions Bowl—The Nut Squeeze v. the Let’s Lock Arms and Legs and Saw Them Off. Jesus. And you wonder why Aggie athletic director Bill Byrne doesn’t even want his games on pay per view. Who wants to be embarrassed on national television and for years to come on blooper shows? Just keep those cameras out of there, Bill, because those of us on the outside can’t even understand it anyways, right?

The Roundabout Bowl— So USC throttles Arkansas, who beats Auburn, who beats Washington State, who beats Oregon State, who beats USC. Both Washington State and Oregon State couldn’t beat California, which lost to Tennessee, which lost to Florida, which lost to Auburn, which lost to Arkansas, which lost to USC, which lost to Oregon State, which lost to Boise State, who nobody has beat and is our worst nightmare. Kevin Bacon fits in there somewhere.

The Death Threat Bowl—Texas A&M fans v. Al Qaeda. First the Aggies threaten the Hellraiser who rented out the south steps of the capitol building the night before the Texas game when Aggies traditionally have held their “midnight yell” practice, now they are issuing death threats to the SI.com writer who had the guts to poke fun at a picture depticing the Ags in aforementioned “Saw Varsity’s Horns Off’ pose. Next thing you know we’ll have videotapes released on the Internet of Aggies kidnapping Kirk Herbstreit and dressing up in milkman uniforms and fake, long beards, threatening to squeeze his nuts if you don’t say something nice about those goofy bastards.

Finally, some Big XII Bowls…

The Holiday Bowl— Oklahoma v. USC. Bob Stoops takes over The Mack Brown suite at the San Diego Hilton as the Sooners try to avenge their Orange Bowl loss at the hands of the Trojans in 2005. Stoops borrows videotape from his brother Mike, who only lost to the Trojans 20-3 earlier in the season and comes up with the perfect gameplan. Unfortunately he then realizes he’s playing with Pac-10 officials and packs up his stuff and goes home. USC wins 2-0 on a forfeit.

The Cotton Bowl—Nebraska v. Arkansas. Trying to recruit a star defensive player in Arkansas, Houston Nutt fires his defensive coordinator and hires the star player’s high school coach. Bill Callahan still can’t move the ball on a high school coach but is trailing by 4 on the final drive when he runs the Statue of Liberty, fumblerooski, a flea-flicker, halfback pass and finally a fake punt from the 10 yard line to score and win the game.

The BCS National Championship Game—Texas v. Ohio State. Hey, it’s my column, and I was right about the Michigan Rose Bowl and I was right about who we would/needed to play in last year’s Rose Bowl, so hear me out. West Virginia beats Louisville. Rutgers beats West Virginia. Arkansas beats Florida in the SEC Championship Game, but declines the invitation to the Sugar Bowl and goes to the Cotton Bowl so I can use my Arkansas Houston Nutt joke in the previous bowl. Or they go the Sugar Bowl. Whatever floats your boat. Ohio State throttles Michigan since Michigan can’t score. That, my friends, leaves us with Colt McCoy [brent musberger]with those baby blue eyes[/brent musberger] against Heisman Trophy winner Troy Smith.

We like to play Heisman Trophy winners in championship games.

This Week's Game in a Nutshell

Oklahoma State has forced Texas to make three comebacks in three years. It ain't happening again (so says the law of averages). By the way... Colt McCoy needs three TD passes to break the school's single-season reord. Anyone ready to bet against him?

The Greg Brown Memorial Pregame Premonition

Colt breaks the single-season record of 26 TD passes with a 50+ yard strike to Limas Sweed.

Personal Anecdote Involving This Week's Opponent

Last year in Stillwater I really had to take a... nope, nevermind. My one near fight at DKR came in the 2004 game. Sure, we fell behind 35-7, but I never thought we'd lose. The douche behind me did. It led to words between he and I, and he and my brother. I told him I was going to kick his ass, and he backed off. The cops then showed, and I backed off. Then Texas came back and all was normal. God bless the Horns, and understanding APD officers.

Semi-Relevant Quote from the Big Lebowski

"You can imagine where it goes from here..."

Yes, I can. Louisville loses to Pitt. Michigan loses to Ohio State. Florida loses to someone in the SEC (or Florida State). Everyone else that Texas needs to lose loses. Texas plays Ohio State... again. Maybe. Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.

Deluded/Rational Thoughts from an Opposing Message Board

Not a game-related thread, but some of the Okies wonder about restaurants in Austin. The best post in the thread lists the following options:

Shady Grove
Hula Hut
Z Tejas
Iron Cactus
Great choices, all (except Moonshine, which I thought was pretty "blah.")

For the record... get the: Chicken Fried Chicken with hatch green chiles and cheese instead of gravy, at Shady Grove; Chicka Chicka Boom-Boom enchiladas, at Chuy's; chile rellenos or Shiner Bock fajitas, at Hula Hut; cajun stuffed pork tenderloin, at Z Tejas; or lots of drinks, at Iron Cactus. Chuy's, Shady Grove, and Hula Hut are all the same restaurant, btw... and it doesn't make any of them less desirable.

Random Texas-Oklahoma State highlight that has little to do with this game, but was sweet nonetheless

Damn, I miss RT.

Prediction: Texas 45, Oklahoma State 24



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