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Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Movies: Best "Guy" Movies 

I was reading this Hornfans thread, and I figured that I could a much better job of coming up with "Guy" movies than some of these boobs.

Die Hard- This flick is the ultimate. It's got explosions, lots of great lines, and I defy anyone to give me a better villian than Alan Rickman's Hans Gruber. It's a classic.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly- It's the yin to Die Hard's yang. Clint Eastwood is an American hero, and this is the height of his bad-assedness. How many classic lines can one movie have? And don't forget the Mexican standoff in the cemetary, my vote for best movie scene of all-time.

Fight Club- You watch this movie and you want to whip someone's ass. That's enough for me.

I'm sure there are more, but those are the three that stand out to me (and really, the first two are the only "no-brainers," in my opinion. I'm open to debate on the third).

Looking at the Hornfans list I'm struck by the many examples of movies that don't begin to qualify as "Guy" movies. I don't think comedies work in this context. "Guy" movies are all about being a man in the hunter-gatherer sense. In a "Guy" movie I'm thinking "ass-kicker," not "smart-ass." I loved Swingers, but those guys don't fit that bill. Neither does the crew in Old School or any Coen Brothers flick. And Steven Seagall may kick some ass in his movies, but does casey Rybeck have half the charisma of Blondie or John McLain? Hell no he doesn't. If there's one comedy that I could welcome to this list (albeit at number three, tops), it's Animal House. But I'm really not as high on it as most people.

At this time I feel compelled to single out the worst entry on the thread -- Scarface. I've railed against that piece of crap here before, but come on, Scarface? What do people see in that movie? Evidently it's not the awful acting, worse accents, or cring-inducing cheesy montages. Best "Guy" movie? P'Shaw. Start a list of movies that called: great-when-you-were-a-kid-in-1984-but-when-viewed-as-an-adult-reveal-themselves-for-the-cheesy-over-the-top-craptastic-piles-of-dung-that-they-always-were-but-you-just-weren't-old-enough-to-realize-it. I'll put Scarface at the very top. I won't even have a second spot.


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