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Thursday, November 11, 2004

Television: Instant Classic! 

Bill Simmons hasn't lost his touch after all.

His latest column for ESPN the magazine is probably the finest work that he's produced since shunning Jimmy Kimmell to return to his former job as an ESPN.com columnist. How good is it? Well let's just say that The Sports Guy does such a thorough hatchet job on the latest MTV Real World/Road Rules Challenge, that I might have to end my self-imposed moratorium on all MTV programming and tune in next time it airs.

Though I decided against watching any further RW/RR serials after it became apparent that the same people's same relationships would become an ongoing drama, I might make an exception. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll get to see The Miz, who seems to have made a career out of being an MTV has-been, get his ass kicked or something. Man, I can't stand The Miz (who bears an alarming resemblance to Astros pitcher Brandon Backe). I don't think Simmons does, either.

Because MTV keeps recycling this idea -- and thank God -- some repeat competitors have become "veterans," for lack of a better word. The sense of entitlement is alarming. Take The Miz, a four-season old-timer who recently joined WWE's Tough Enough, making him the Bo Jackson of trash TV. He carries himself like Patrick Swayze in the first 20 minutes of Road House. Can you really take pride in something this inane?

Tonya, if you can get this rock in your mouth, then God bless you.
The Miz has advice for the newcomers about the dangers of hooking up, the threat of alliances ... everything but how to fill out a W-2 form, since he'd have no idea how to do that. Now that the Sox have won the Series, "Will The Miz ever get a real job?" is the number one unanswerable question in life.
Like I said, classic stuff. Check it out.


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