b The Longhorn Mafia <$BlogRSDURL$>

Friday, September 17, 2004

Sports: The Week That Will Be (9/18) 

Last Week: 4-3 ATS 4-3 SU
For the Year: 7-6 ATS 10-3 SU

Well we made it back from the land of Ozarks and pork rinds without incident, although we certainly would have liked to have Frankie Francisco'ed a few people. But all in all it was a great trip.

Last week was an interesting weekend, as several top teams saw their Orange Bowl hopes diminish but their Independence Bowl hopes take off. Texas Tech is apparently trying the "LM Approach" as they are shooting a lot but no scoring.

Okay, yeah, I don't shoot that much either.

Anyhow, last week ESPN announced that they are going to launch a new network in the Spring called ESPNU, which will focus on college sports. It will show games, replay of games, college-oriented programming, and much much more.

Sadly enough I have not yet been approached about running the entertainment side of ESPNU, but thought I would brainstorm a few new ideas for sitcoms, dramas and specials to fill the time between Cal-State Fullerton softball games and Hofstra field hockey on ESPN the Trey.

The Benefactor: A new reality-based series where Casey Clausen, ex University of Tennessee quarterback, opens his home to 20+ Volunteers recruits and picks which one will get his posh 2004 Ford truck and sweet apartment that he earned as quarterback of the Volunteers.

Lost: [Insert Greg Davis punchline here]

CSI: State College, PN: Forensics experts try weekly to see if Coach Joe Paterno is indeed still alive.

The Next Great Champ: Another reality series where contestants are urged to make ridiculous wagers such as $5 to see if someone can get a punch in before they are knocked out...

Father of the Pride: Mack Brown has nothing on these guys as Bobby Bowden takes Mark Richt under his wing and tells him that long losing streaks to rivals are okay and that they need to keep their pride.

2 Simple Rules to Getting a Football Recruit: This new show will focus on Gary Barnett who says, "Get 'em drunk and let 'em screw."

Alias: Chris Rix, now 0-5 against the Hurricanes, shows viewers each week just exactly how he gets around Tallahassee without being mobbed.

Arrested Development: Ever wonder how those Aggie football recruits train while behind bars? Wait no further...

The Bachelorette: Following in the footsteps of New York Giants quarterback Jesse Palmer, Cleveland Browns quarterback Jeff Garcia chooses from a pool of 20 guys...

The OC: In the luxurious county southeast of LA, college offensive coordinators Greg Davis of Texas, Norm Chow of USC and Boise State OC Chris Peterson all strive to live their lives amongst the trials and tribulations of living among the rich and famous. Norm Chow is the cool kid on the block, Davis the miscast and Peterson just hopes to survive the stalking of some guy named TSD.

Queer Eye for the Head Coach: It's a happy gay time as 4 gay guys take a head coach at a major university and give him a complete makeover. The pilot episode features Ohio State University Jim Tressel and those gay ass sweater vests. Oh wait, I guess he doesn't need the help. Mark Mangino?

That 70's Show: A look at the annual Texas A&M/Oklahoma matchup.

Jackass: A look into the daily life of Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops.

Everyone Loves Baylor: This show is a showcase for the second teamers on each squad and for Heisman Trophy candidates.

Extreme Makeover: Live from Lincoln, NE.

American Bandstand: Watch as drunk Longhorn fans dance in front of the band after big wins. First week: Fayetteville, AR.

Real World: San Diego: Starring Mack Brown and the Texas Longhorns.

On to the games...

Maryland @ West Virginia (-7):

Maryland had questions on defense coming into the season, and wins over Northern Illinois and Temple have done little to alleviate that, especially on the ground.

West Virginia's defense hasn't been sparkling, but their offense has, as they are currently third in the league in rushing.

See paragraph above.

West Virginia 34 Maryland 24
ATS - West Virginia
SU - West Virginia

Ohio State (-1.5) @ North Carolina State:

This was an overtime thriller last year, as Ohio State stopped TA McClendon on the goalline to preserve a win behind some questionable play calling by the NC State coaching staff.

NC State returns most of their offensive line and T.A. McClendon is back but of course, let's all say it together....injured (You can count on several things in life....reporters will stand outside in hurricanes, there will be traffic when you are late, there will be a gay guy on every Real World and T.A. McClendon will be injured). If NC State can run the ball like Marshall did against Ohio State, this one will be a mild upset.

I hate to go against Ohio State's lucky ass, but...

North Carolina State 27 Ohio State 20
ATS - NC State
SU - NC State

LSU @ Auburn (-1.5):

This one might be postponed due to Hurricane Ivan. If so I might pick a replacement game before Saturday.

I think everyone is jumping the gun a bit on LSU. Yes, they looked lackluster against OSU, but let's remember they are the defending (co) national champions.

Auburn lost a lot from last year on defense, and while they have Carnell Williams, they were still inconsistent on offense last year.

They are still the champs until they are knocked off.

LSU 24 Auburn 20

Florida @ Tennessee (-3):

Both teams are going through a bit of a rebuilding year, as they both lost 13 starters from last year's teams. Both feature young quarterbacks, as Florida has super sophomore Chris Leak under center and Tennessee has the two-headed freshman monster of Brent Schaeffer and Erik Ainge.

Florida might be a slightly better team at this point, but give me the Volunteers at home in front of 100,000 against a young Florida team.

Tennessee 24 Florida 14
ATS - Tennessee
SU - Tennessee

Clemson (-1) @ Texas A&M:

Clemson has experience and speed on offense, while the Aggies have a serious lack of speed on defense. Killer combo.

The Tiger defense is vulnerable, but can the Aggies do anything about it? Or will they even be in the game for it to matter?

The no huddle offense that Clemson features will wear down the already thin Aggie defense. Potential for a blowout here.

Clemson 41 Texas A&M 24
ATS - Clemson
SU - Clemson

TCU @ Texas Tech (-6):

When is Texas Tech going to start scoring??? They are #1 in pass offense, #13 in total offense, but only #57 in scoring offense.

TCU has a pretty good offense themselves with the QB tandem of Gunn and Hassell and the RB duo of Hobbs and Merrill.

This one will be a shootout but Texas Tech finally gets their scoring offense going. Now if only I could.

Texas Tech 51 TCU 40
ATS - Texas Tech
SU - Texas Tech

Oregon @ Oklahoma (-28.5):

What the hell?

Oregon loses to Indiana at Autzen Stadium, one of the supposedly toughest places to play in all of collegiate football?!? How does that happen?

Turn the ball over 7 times. The Ducks had nearly 500 yards total offense but couldn't hold on to the ball.

Oklahoma's defense looked a bit shaky against Bowling Green. Not shaky necessarily by everyone else's standards, but by theirs. And for that reason a spread like that is a bit big against a decent team such as the Ducks.

They will put some points on the board.

Oklahoma 44 Oregon 24
ATS - Oregon
SU - Oklahoma

For entertainment purposes only. Take your money and buy some ACL tickets.

Random Hot Dallas Chick


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