b The Longhorn Mafia <$BlogRSDURL$>

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Random: See the Future 

Are you ready to get into your time machine?

Q: How does this work?
A: Current scientific theory states that Time Travel may be possible, however the technology is a long way off, perhaps hundreds of years in the future... As with any technology, Time Travel will get less expensive as time goes on... Time Travel, once it becomes feasible, will initially be very expensive yet it will become more and more economical as time goes by.

Q: How does this help me?
A: The concept is that one day, it may be possible for people living far in the future to retrieve you from your current frame of reference (their past - your present) and bring you into the future (their present - your future.)

Q: Why would they want to?
A: That is the purpose of the fund. The simple answer is, we pay them to bring you into the future.

Q: How?
A: We establish a fund in current time. You make a small contribution to the fund, and in a few hundred years that small amount grows to a very large amount. From that fund, moneys will be taken and used to retrieve you, perhaps seconds after you join, perhaps even moments before your recorded death, perhaps some other point in your lifetime. Further, the fund may even pay to have you "rejuvenated" medically (assuming this is scientifically possible at that time,) and support you financially for a number of years. (Note: Retrieving you just before the moment of death is just one possible scenario, but one that would avoid any Star Trek(TM) type paradoxes. There are an unlimited number of other possibilities, and we do not know what they will do, we can only make reasonably informed guesses.)
Wow, for just $10, I can travel into the future? Sign me up! Wait, but is there a catch?

Q: Are there any restrictions?
A: Yes, several:
You will not be retrieved if you die by suicide. Sorry, but we don't want your family blaming us for you killing yourself because you think you will get to the future sooner.

You will not be retrieved if you die by execution, or are killed in the process of, or the result of, committing a crime. You are responsible for your actions, and the fund is not an excuse for you to take your frustrations out on society. (Note: You are not automatically excluded if you are the victim of a crime.)

There are no guarantees. None whatsoever. This is pure speculation, but it is a chance. Should something happen such as the people of the earth bombing themselves back to the stone age, you probably won't be retrieved. The fund is a chance to visit the future, not a guarantee. If you want a guarantee, go buy a savings bond and wait for seven years.
I call BS. If they can't guarantee my time travel, then I'm not guaranteeing my $10 payment.

I wonder if for $1, they could just come back and tell me if and when the Astros ever win a World Series?

Link via Hornfans.


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