Friday, June 25, 2004
Bill Simmons' NBA Draft Diary
Bill Simmons gives us his annual NBA Draft diary. This time from a suite in the Ritz Carlton Boston with his father.
Some highlights:
Greatness as always.
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Some highlights:
Possible No. 1 pick Dwight Howard on his changing fortunes: "I went from an '84 Crown Victoria that only goes up to 84 miles an hour to a new BMW that goes up to 160." Wow. You can almost hear the Orlando front office screaming, "Change of plans! Change of plans! Get Okafor on the phone!"
7:45 -- Charlotte can't take Okafor fast enough. Seriously, I'm not sure they even started the clock. They borrowed Dwight Howard's car and raced to the podium at 160 mph.
7:53 -- When it comes right down to it, there isn't a more secretly exciting phrase in sports than "The Clippers are on the clock." That's right up there with, "I'm here with Mike Tyson" and "Have you seen these pictures of Latrell Sprewell on his yacht?"
8:30 -- Dick Vitale uses the phrase "flat-out" three times in less than a minute, followed by an life-altering split-screen argument between Vitale and Stephen A. Smith. If you missed it, you can see a continuous replay of this moment on the new ESPN channel, ESPN 666.
8:45 -- My dad's take on Stephen A.: "I feel like I'm being yelled at."
8:56 -- With the Celtics on the clock, ESPN runs footage of the Johnson-Brown-Forte picks from 2001 just to torture me. Thanks, guys. You forgot to show Lenny Bias trying on the green Celtics hat. I feel sick.
9:10 -- Not only is Bilas now refusing to use verbs, my dad just called Al Jefferson "Al Harrington" for the third time tonight. Things are heating up.
9:33 -- Utah takes 7-foot-5 Pavel Prdzswsbqzpdne, who stands up and immediately whiffs on two high-fives. Not a good start for the Pavel Era. Katz calls it a "safe pick." Of course, the USA Today's scouting report mentioned that Pavel "takes medication for a hormonal disorder related to pituitary gland." I don't know if "safe" was the best choice of words, not after the Gheorge Muresan Era and Giant Gonzalez's wrestling career. Jacko quickly jokes, "Must improve: Genetic deficiency."
9:53 -- Not only is Nelson headed to Orlando, but Utah trades Pavel to Dallas for a future first-rounder and the rights to Pavel's royalties from "My Giant 2."
(All right, I'll ask: What's the point of picking someone at No. 21, then trading him to a 50-win team that's about to get Shaq? So you can move backwards 8-to-10 spots in any of the next five drafts? Did Elgin Baylor consult them on this trade?)
Greatness as always.
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